Marriage is not an easy commitment, and for the longest time, the consensus is that about half of American marriages end in divorce. In a recent survey, however, researchers found that this rate is not all that accurate.
The New York Times published the results of this study, which shows that while divorce rates did increase in the 70s and 80s, they have dropped significantly in the last 20 years.
In fact, for couples who married in the 2000s, the divorce rate is around 15 percent! However, divorce is still not uncommon, not to mention separation.
San Diego Divorce Lawyer Sandy Meade says that while the divorce rate is going down, the reasons for divorce haven’t changed all that much. While people don’t enter a marriage planning divorce down the road, these reasons come up at some point, leading to a potentially disastrous situation.
Whatever stage you are in your relationship, you might want to be more informed about the popular reasons for divorce. Being so will help you avoid getting entangled in that relationship mess.
Getting married for the wrong reasons
Why do people get married in the first place? Love is the best answer, right?
That is the ideal reason, yes, but there are people who go to the altar for other reasons such as money, convenience, and loneliness. Some may even be “forced” into marriage because, for example, the woman got pregnant out of wedlock.
If a couple goes into marriage for the wrong reasons, the chances of getting divorced later on are higher.
Having incompatible core values
Even if two people love each other, if their core values or principles are way off target from each other, their relationship will probably deteriorate over time. One or both may find themselves comprising willingly in the early stages of their marriage, but after a while, this may result in resentment, which, if left unchecked will further degrade the relationship.
Lack of communication
In any relationship, communication is the key. Both partners have to open up, even if it’s against their nature. If there is no communication between husband and wife and this continues over time, they will drift apart and probably want out of the marriage.
We all have expectations and needs, especially from relationships. For a married couple, it is imperative that each party expresses his/her expectations and needs. (See above – need for communication.)
If these expectations and needs remain unmet for a long period, then the aggrieved party will most likely not want to be in the marriage anymore.
They say never go into business with friends and that money has ruined many a relationship. The same thing goes for marriages. Finances as a reason for divorce come in many forms.
One spouse may earn more than the other and resent this. Some spouses don’t know how to handle money, resulting in the family being mired in debt. Gambling problems, compulsive shopping, and similar cases can also lead to divorce.
Last, but definitely not the least, is infidelity. The prevailing idea is that men cheat on their wives more than wives cheat on their husbands. While that may be true, the result is the same in either case.
Trust is broken. The person who was cheated on feels betrayed. The relationship suffers a humongous blow. This is not to say that marriages cannot recover from an instance of infidelity, but it is not an easy path and it often leads to divorce, especially if it happens more than once.
No one really knows what the future brings, even in a marriage where two people have promised to love each other in sickness and in health, till death do them part. However, knowing and understanding these popular reasons for divorce may help to avoid reaching that point, or help a divorcing couple deal with their situation better.
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